How handy are you, really? If something breaks, is your first inclination to try to fix it? If not, it’s not fully your fault. Honestly, most things we use today are made to be replaced and not repaired.
Starting in the 1950s, plastics became widely used in consumer manufacturing. Things that were once metal, wood, or glass started to be made using plastics. It was cheaper and easier while having a very wide range of use cases. For furniture, we started to utilize particle boards as they were cheaper to make and work with. The strength of these materials wasn’t in their actual performance, it was in their manufacture. This meant things were easier to make and cheaper, and thus more accessible to the masses. Consumer culture was coming about in all it’s glory. As technology progressed in manufacturing, we got really good at making things cheap in order to manufacture and meet demand while squeezing out the largest profits.
As we continued to manufacture more goods, there came about two new concepts in consumption, planned obsolescence and upgrades. With so many new consumer items coming about at a rapid rate, it was a natural happening that when something wore out, there was a newer, better version ready to replace it. Mix that with a growing complexity of repairing things, if you even could, and it became more economically viable to simply to replace items than repair them.
The clothing industry capitalized on this with the rapid introduction of synthetic fabrics that break down significantly faster than more natural materials like cotton and wool. Today, not only is it hard to find items not laced with synthetic fibers, but even those without it opt for softer, finer, and thinner cloth to keep cost down and the perceived level of comfort up. These fabrics don’t leave a lot of incentive to clean stains, or repair wear and tear. After all, there is probably a newer, more fashionable model of that garment available.
This lack of incentive to repair basic items, like clothing or furniture, creates a supply and demand problem among those who actually can. The number of people who can sew has been declining for decades, with women being the primary market. Woodworking and light carpentry are the same, but with men. Both reports the main demographic of participants is over 40. This leads to getting help to repair things costing more, perpetuating the likelihood that it is more economical to replace.
If this problem stopped at the buy new vs replace argument, then could remain isolated, but the mentality creeps into other aspects of our lives. Our relationship with our possessions tends to reflect much deeper tendencies in our behavior. Whether it is “a cluttered space leads to a cluttered mind” or “what you own has a way of owning you” our relationship with our purchases is more than transactional.
The first way it affects us is the way we care for things. If everything is destined to be replaced and nothing is seen as lasting, then why put in extra effort to care for it in a way that extends its life? Vehicles exhibit this perfectly; it is painfully common to see cars with neglected maintenance, whether it be an oil change, tire replacement, or lights habitually out or even just keeping it somewhat clean, it is clear that vehicle maintenance is on the decline. A car is likely most people’s single most expensive item they own, yet caring for it is becoming less common. Why? Well, cars are complicated, but really, most cars are likely to be traded in for newer models long before they are out of life, even if bought used. The likelihood that the person who drives it off the lot is the one who sends it to the junk yard is small. So if someone doesn’t have the goal in mind of maximizing the vehicle’s longevity in mind, why waste the time and money on keeping it in the very best condition? Don’t think automakers haven’t caught onto this trend. In fact, it is clear that they can now bake this into their strategy and reduce the overall quality of cars as a whole, from planned obsolescence in engines to lower-grade interiors. Compare a car of today with a car of the 60s, just from the materials used, and tell me you can’t see an intentional difference.
Most alarmingly, we can see this behavior in relationships. Yeah, those require maintenance and repair, too. On a large scale, we see behavior that demonstrates people approach relationships in a transactional and even replicable manner. We see all the time, and maybe in ourselves, going halfhearted into a relationship while continuing to shop. Refusing to have critical and healthy, difficult conversations. Putting real work into relationships when it isn’t fun. Just like our cars, running the wheels off the relationship until we trade it in. It’s fun, until it isn’t, then it is no longer worth making it work because there is something newer and more exciting available… somewhere. So why settle?
Fixing things takes learning how they work. It takes practice. It takes failing, undoing, and trying again. It takes asking for help, sometimes. Sometimes, it even takes accepting that things will never be shiny and new again, but still useful.
Kintsugi is a Japanese art form where broken pottery is repaired with gold to highlight the beauty in something that has been repaired. A way of seeing an item’s beauty in being loved, used, broken, and repaired. Seeing beauty in all the phases and holding them in perfect order. A cup is new, and because it is loved, it gets used. As we use it regularly, we may become careless, taking it for granted, and it breaks, leaving us with a useless cup. However, we love and care, the cup can be repaired and more uniquely ours, deepening our connection to it. This can be applied throughout life. Relationships are stronger when they are tested and found strong enough to withstand hard times. People become stronger and more resilient the more challenges they face and overcome. As we break and heal, we become stronger, more unique, and more beautifully human.
The times when things are broken is not the time to decide if we are going to fix them or if they are even worth it. The time to decide that is when we acquire them. Whether it is clothing, a car, a relationship, or even a marriage, are you looking to get something to fit the need now, quickly and cheaply, or maybe to show it off, or are you looking to acquire something to last? Like an article of clothing, you can’t pick it up cheap and quick, and as you wear it a while, try to extend its life forever. No, if you wanted that article of clothing to last, you would have to invest in it from the start with forever in mind, then care for it accordingly.
In relation to love and marriage, I heard an excerpt that hit home. “I love you” doesn’t really mean anything. Loving someone for who they are is temporary. People change, and I may not love who you change into. No, what a married couple should be able to say is, “You are mine.” Not mine in a possessive way to use as a commodity, but mine in the sense of mine to care for and maintain. Mine for the long run, so I have to invest in something that will last, care for it, and love it. It’s taking responsibility for the person, the relationship, and ensuring it remains in excellent condition. Alterations will need to be made, cracks and even breaks will happen, but since you are mine and I am yours, we fix things, we care for each other, and we truly want the best for the other, as the health of the relationship reflects directly on us both.
Neglect says more than a failed attempt to fix. Letting anything we own fall into a state of disrepair exhibits a lack of ability to acquire things responsibly, a lack of competence to maintain them, and a lack of knowledge to repair them. This isn’t an attack. Everyone deals with this. After all, most things are built to be disposable now and being an informed and responsible consumer is, honestly, an oxymoron. That doesn’t mean we have to settle for that as the norm.
We can do better, and it starts with little things. Try to fix something that is broken. Just try. Put off the urge to get the new thing that will work better and build a connection with the things in your life by trying to fix them when they break. Enjoy the comfort of what you know and the confidence of extending its life.
Buy quality, even if it is second-hand. They don’t make things like they used to. Buy second-hand items such as clothes and furniture. They may even need a little work. Save the money, do the work, and claim it as your own.
Do the research and know how to care for your things. Read your car’s owners manual, learn to sew, learn tactics for healthier relationships. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Few ways of living produce confidence and satisfaction with the things in our life more than acquiring them intentionally, taking pride in maintaining things, and the ability to repair things and extend their life. It builds a deeper connection with everything when you care enough about what is yours to actually fix it, or even make it yourself. Humans are thoughtful, creative, caring, and resourceful creatures. Consumer habits chip away at all these amazing attributes. We can all live better by just taking a little more control.